FORGIVE ME..THIS IS ANOTHER STUPID POST....

my paranoia has gone a new direction. this morning i contemplated the possibility that flies have rodeos like people do. seriously, what if they get all their little fly friends together, and take bets on how long one of them can sit on you before getting dislodged? then the one that lives the longest without being smacked off you gets the whole kitty.

it must have been one of the more well-advertised fly rodeos. i guess we're in a good central location, and there's plenty of food and lodging available; maybe a nice parade through the living room on the opening day and some famous cricket singers as evening entertainment.

that, or the fact that it's a pretty accessible house. niece and littler niece aren't big on shutting doors ("she opened it, she has to shut it!" ...."well she was last, i'm not shutting it!").

i was just sitting in the living room, trying to wake up, when all of a sudden three flies (obviously judges) are buzzing around my hair, while another fly (contestant number 1) gets a good grip on my lower leg. i half-heartedly shake my leg. off he goes. then he's back. i shake a bit harder. he's gone. he's back.

i ponder the situation.

if this is really the fly rodeo, i just have to stop moving. you don't get a good score if the bronc won't buck. you either cut your losses, or bite, which is the equivalent of a bronc rider spurring the horse.

think about fly germs. i think about fly bites. i can't sit still. kick. fly goes flying. fly flies back.

i get up. i get the fly swatter as the judge-flies scatter in horror. as we've spent so much quality time together,i know what contestant fly looks like.

splat!! ewwwwwwwww!!

no more rodeos for fly contestant number 1...