CHOCO MILK..SCHOOL BUSES..BEASTS

you are sitting in a schoolbus with several other kids in the same uniform..the air is thick with chatter and smell of sunshine and sweat on pigtails nanny had braided that morning and the collective crunch as cookies and chips are crushed between many sets of teeth. a couple of rows away, your classmate is making retching noises while teacher rubs her back and tells her to take deep breaths. she shouldn't have wolfed all those goodies the minute the bus left the school.

you open your beauty and the beast lunch box and take a sip of chocolate milk..across the aisle, someone is telling her seatmate about the ghost in her grandmas house. the ghost had wild hair and red eyes and a tongue like a spool of thread. it sat on the roof and lowered its tongue into the house and sucked out peoples brains.

you try not to listen because stories haunt you. last month you saw a tv documentary on an apparition somewhere, and every afternoon, after sesame street, you sat by the window and waited for the end of the world.

the bus turns a corner and as the entrance comes into a view, a cheer rises from your class. even if you have been to the place every year on every educational trip since prep, you still get a kick out of going to the zoo.

you alight from the bus to form two lines. the girl beside you is your designated partner; you take her hand and it's sticky with chocolate mallows or chips. the sun that had blazed all morning has retreated behind the clouds, the air is suddenly cool. teacher remarks that it looks like rain.

your nostrils are assailed by the rank odor of wet fur and mysterious animal exudations. it smells like poop, somebody yells, and the entire class dissolves in a fit of giggles. you are eight years old, certain words are inexplicably funny, and bodily functions are hilarious; the mere mention of butthole is enough to make you hysterical.

a large long legged bird stands at the center of its wide cage--it is a cassowary, teacher says, and it is one of the stupidest creatures on earth. an assortment of birds flutter about thier enclosures; someone points to a mound of droppings, unleashing another wave of giggles.

you fall silent as you behold the elephants. they are not particularly impressive elephants, in fact they look smaller than the ones in national geographic and they seem kinda sad, but to you in pigtails and your neatly folded white socks, they are magnificent creatures. your classmates proffers cookies and chips to the elephants, but the teacher shakes her head and says you are not to feed the animals. you stare at one particular elephant. you wonder why it is sad.

the crocs wallow in their dirty pool, large ugly creatures with evil eyes. a croc opens its maw, showing huge sharp teeth that could crunch you into bits--you back away from the bars and your partner squeals in fear. nearby, the snakes in glass cages--living , slithering ropes with shiny eyes and forked tongues flittering out of their heads. one of them is molting. there is a chorus of eeeeeks. you shudder. at home, you do not open the green volume of your walt disney library becuse it contains a picture of a boa constrictor. if you stare at it long enough it might come to life and eat you.

the hippopotamuses? hippopotami? lie in the murky water, thier backs breaking to through the surface like two dirty islets. you are not interested in those boring beasts; your favorite part of the zoo is the monkey cage with peter the chimpanzee.

peter is the most active creature in the zoo. he swings and moves around. make faces and uhh..spits.. eww..but everyone giggles when he does that. you will remember this always, and in your memory it will be played in slow motion -- the little girls assembled infront of the chimp, and a thick wet gooey mass impacting on your classmate's hair. she bursts into tears, and everyone breaks into an appreciative applause. teacher leads her to the washroom to get cleaned up. again, peter did not disappoint. last year, with pinpoint accuracy, he hurled a banana peel into the teacher.

finally there are the big cats pacing in their enclosures, their muscles moving under the rank-smelling fur. the tiger growls: it is a sound unlike any you have heard before , not even in the movies, even if you are eight, you know that the tiger does not belong here. you consider throwing a cookie at the skinny looking lion sleeping in its artificial cave. it must have heard what you were thinking, for it opens its eyes and glowers at you.

for a long time you watch the big cats, and you wonder at how the world that contains school buses, chocolate milk, peanut butter cookies and afternoon cartoons can also hold lions and tigers. and you will spend the years to come attempting to return to this moment, to become the child standing before the cage, your senses assaulted by the strangeness and ferocity of life....