NO MORE BIRTHDAYS FOR MISHY

i'm back.

why? well being the loser that i am, i'm once again here in my room, stuck with my computer, nothing better to do. don't get me wrong, i love being stuck with my computer, no matter how trippy it gets. i've been constantly sitting on my bed with it on my lap. ok sure, it's a laptop, but that doesn't mean it's comfortable to type with it on my lap. actually for the longest time i could never remember if it was a "laptop" or a "labtop" because it made more sense to me that you would use it, say, in a computer lab, or a science lab, than on your lap. laps are to hold purses and small children, not little computers. don't even get me started on lapdogs/lapcats. these lap animals and laptops do not belong to laps, people! although at least laptops don't leave hair on your black dress pants. usually.

oh well.

i will type about my life before my lap gets burned.

i once read or heard someone say that they decided to stop writing about their life and go out and live it.

i don't know. i think, sometimes, that life looks better written, played over in a different light with softer recollection. it's funnier, it's deeper, it's more insightful on the page. isn't that why we're here? to polish the beginnings and rewrite the endings? to change the memories in our own minds, until they look the way we think they should?

anyways...

where have i been? what have i been up to?

thanks for asking.

okay, i'm going to tell you.

for more or less two weeks starting the night of my birthday, i think my eyeballs went on strike. i'm not kidding. they hurt like crazy! i looked like i'm either really high, or have spent a long time hysterically crying. actually, i guess they went watering so much that i pretty much have been crying....so either my eyes were wicked sad about something and don't want me to know, or i got allergic to something or someone. i bet on an allergy, and i had someone i tried to avoid to see if it's him. what happens if you develop an allergy to your bf? can you get a restraining order? would my eyes be called to testify? because sometimes they have a lot to say, and sometimes they just glaze over and shut up. what if they reveal more than i'd like them to? i'd like to order a curtain for the window to my soul, please. because you never know when a peeping tom is going to try to get a peek at your soul.

in other words it rained tears after my birthday. main reason why i never typed anything here for awhile. i didn't wanna mess up this laptop i so love.

i'm okay now, i guess. back to normal, working at being better knowing that things will eventually fall into place. soon, i hope.

i succeeded in looking at things from a different angle. took some good out of the bad.

thanks to perspective.

i am so thankful that it's possible to be upset about something, and then let it go.

i'm even thankful for the little things that drive me crazy, for letting me get all that craziness out of my system without freaking me out about the things i have no control over.

it may not be perfect, but it's a good life, really.