girls are evil.

being a girl myself, i have the authority to say so. i am a girl, and girls are evil. i think we should come equipped with warnings like cigarettes do. after all, cigarettes kill you slowly, but a truly psycho girl can run you over with her car at 8:45 and be home in time to catch the soap opera on tv at 9:00 (while her next victim-to-be is outside in the cold washing the blood off her car and mooning over her cherry red lips).

i don't think the warning should be placed on the back of our package, although that's the first place many guys look. it should be smack in the middle of our foreheads for all to see. or maybe in that little hollow where the neck and shoulders meet, so you would have to lean in really close, and your warm breath would brush across the side of the neck....mmmk, never mind that, the forehead it is.

i want the job of writing the warnings. hey, i'm qualified. i attended advertising classes. i want to be the first surgeon general of truth in personal advertising. people would have to address me as doctor and i would follow each one around taking notes on their behavior toward friends, family, little old street-crossing ladies, and telemarketers. i would then interview a cross-section of the people in their lives, and come up with a suitable warning in 30 words or less.

hmm...what would mine say?

ummmm... :p