SHOWDOWN
ever been in a grocery store with no express lane, moseying toward the checkout line, when you get into a checkout showdown?
you're just about to head on to the checkout line with your m&ms, a bag of chips and magazines, when you spot your nemesis an equal distance away from the only checkout lane without a line. you know your nemesis instantly when you see them, because they are towing a line of six shopping carts linked together by the sticky hands of five screaming children. the carts are piled high with canned goods. coupons trail like streamers from an open diaper bag strapped to the last cart.
they see the checkout line. so do you. you spot each other. the situation dawns on both of you at the same time. you pretend not to have seen each other (because of course, if you had seen they were heading to the same line, you would politely have let them go ahead of you).
the dueling banjos song starts playing in your head.
both of you start the i'm-not-running-i'm-casually-walking-in-this-direction-and-i'm-in-no-hurry slow dash for the counter. gum and magazines fly as you clip the impulse item aisle and slip up to the cashier. your nemesis has snagged a wheel of cart number three on the bottom box of a ho-ho's display, and has overturned carts, ho-ho's and snotty children into the aisle, causing traffic to jam up all the way back to the dairy section. you would feel terrible, but what can you do? you were just minding your own business on a routine trip to the grocery store.
you're just about to head on to the checkout line with your m&ms, a bag of chips and magazines, when you spot your nemesis an equal distance away from the only checkout lane without a line. you know your nemesis instantly when you see them, because they are towing a line of six shopping carts linked together by the sticky hands of five screaming children. the carts are piled high with canned goods. coupons trail like streamers from an open diaper bag strapped to the last cart.
they see the checkout line. so do you. you spot each other. the situation dawns on both of you at the same time. you pretend not to have seen each other (because of course, if you had seen they were heading to the same line, you would politely have let them go ahead of you).
the dueling banjos song starts playing in your head.
both of you start the i'm-not-running-i'm-casually-walking-in-this-direction-and-i'm-in-no-hurry slow dash for the counter. gum and magazines fly as you clip the impulse item aisle and slip up to the cashier. your nemesis has snagged a wheel of cart number three on the bottom box of a ho-ho's display, and has overturned carts, ho-ho's and snotty children into the aisle, causing traffic to jam up all the way back to the dairy section. you would feel terrible, but what can you do? you were just minding your own business on a routine trip to the grocery store.
3 Comments:
Someone should make a short film of your grocery shopping, I'm sure it would make great entertainment. You could be the bikini clad heroine wielding katana, who selflessly protects the people against the evil that is the super shopping trolley convoy.
cool andy!! and you can be the..umm..errr..banjo player!!! wooohoo!!
You need 2 banjo players, and both should have abilities greater than mine. Plus, I want to dress up in a cool costume.
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